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Now, I know from reading your site and others, that a true Taken In Hand relationship would have weathered this setback just fine. Even without the outward act of spanking, the man would have still made it very clear in lots of other ways that everything was fine and under his control.

But unfortunately, since we had to lay off the spanking for a while, things kind of krept back to the way they used to be. I take complete responsibility for this. Now that the spider bite is no longer an issue, I have had to admit to myself that it is difficult for me to keep up my end of the bargain in this lifestyle during times of stress.

I believe the problem is that my personality is not naturally dominant. I was the baby of my family and grew up being "taken care of" by my father and siblings, who ranged in age from 8- to 14- years older than me. My Mom was always emotionally unavailable, and sometimes downright dangerous because she was mentally ill with paranoid schizophrenia. My Dad was an absolutely wonderful loving man, but not at all dominant. In fact, he was a very passive guy. He passed away a few years ago, as have two of my three older siblings (they died in their 40's). I've often wondered if my problem has to do with the lack of a naturally dominant personality, or could it be that I had no role models for this type of thing as I grew up? Nature vs. nurture? Whatever the reason, I need some advice.

I've read about guys like me, who may not be naturally dominant or spankos, but who are able to adopt and enjoy a Taken in Hand type of relationship. I must say that I've never felt happier or better about myself than during those two wonderful weeks we had. I REALLY enjoyed it! My problem seems to be sustaining my role during difficult times with a lot of stress (we've had a bunch of that since that fantastic two weeks).

I'm just wondering if there are any other guys out there who have dealt with this issue and if they discovered any tricks on how to handle it. I love my wife dearly, and want more than anything to be the kind of man she dreams of...for her and for me.

Thanks in advance for any advice...