Handle with care... american men

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  14. Plus I remember a thread that was made just recently where a man explained that his wife`s ex husband was at fault for her first marriage not to work out because he didn`t put to much of an efford into the relationship. There you took the side of the ex husband and said maybe he was just easy going.
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  16. I believe that it takes two to tangle too, but sometimes people just don`t fit together. I blame it on the efford that people want to put into a relationship and sorry to mention it again - on how their zodiac signs fit together. Autumn
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  18. by Autumn on 2006 Mar 12 - 10:34 | reply to this comment
  19. Putting in effort
  20. As I recall, the man on that thread said that his wife's ex-husband was 'weak' because he wasn't forever laying down the law, setting boundaries and limits etc. I felt that a man who isn't forever setting limits and boundaries etc is not necessarily a weak man, he may just not be an authoritarian type. It doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't putting effort into the relationship. The man's comment made me think of my father, who was the last person in the world to go in for setting boundaries for anyone, such a thing would have been anathema to him, yet nobody could have been a more caring or involved person than he was.
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  22. My point was that a lack of desire to be in control in a relationship does not necessarily mean that a person is weak, or that they don't care or are not involved. A person who has no desire to control his partner's actions may not be weak. He may possibly even be stronger than a person who feels the need to control everything.
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  24. by Louise C on 2006 Mar 12 - 13:06 | reply to this comment
  25. To Autumn
  26. Autumn, just because you've "seen this behavior" it doesn't mean you know the whole story. Sometimes it's about people being a bad match, yes. But everyone goes into marriage wanting it to work. Not everyone has the social skills and the patience to make it work.
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  28. That goes for men as well as women.
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